You're VERY strong!

That's what the guy that came to pick up some of my stuff said.  This afternoon I put a bunch of stuff on Craigslist for sale/free.  One of the things was my set of lockers.  I helped heave them up the stairs and then through the yard in the rain... Apparently I'm VERY strong... yes... that is true... in more ways than one!

Amazing what you find you can push yourself to when you don't really have a choice.  I mean, I have a choice to throw myself under my blankies and hope for the best, but that's not really reasonable.  When I broke up with Pat, I had a new storage locker, plans and had already wanted to start packing his stuff out within the first week.  No different now, only I'm the master of my own destiny.
 
I made $60 today and I got rid of all my outdoor stuff (the guy came for the free garden stuff and bought my bbq and patio chairs and took EVERYTHING.... even stuff I would consider garbage... yup!  It was awesome.  And then the guy came to take my lockers and that's the end of stuff I want to sell... or so I thought.

While I was waiting around for these guys to show up, I started cleaning out a cabinet... and then a drawer... and then another cabinet... and I now have two boxes overflowing of items to go to my mom's for her garage sale.  And good stuff too... lots of stuff that will be suggested to go for free (like my collection of brand new, unsharpened novelty pencils).  But also some good quality stuff... winter clothes, hats, wallet, fitness stuff, camping stuff (don't get all excited Kathleen, it's just two cheapo plastic 'lanterns'... I never camped without you!)

It's INSANE how ruthless I am with stuff... 

RUTHLESS!  And strong! ;)

Updates Galore!

 So I found a great little apartment in a nice little neighborhood in Vancouver.  The landlord is lovely and the suite is a 2 bedroom with hard wood floors throughout.  The kitty will stay inside and we will have a dedicated craft room!

The suite has laundry just five steps away, a parking spot about 10 steps away from my door, a small storage area for things I want to have in storage (suit case, christmas deco) but not all the way in my big storage.

 

My landlords (existing) are still completely crazy and yesterday after they gave me my reference and I got the apartment and handed over the damage deposit, they called me upstairs to tell me they changed their minds and I didn't have to move.  Boy was I pissed off!  I told them that it was too late and that in good faith I was making motions to get out of their way as quickly as possible and now that they'd decided that I didn't have to move they'd put me in a really bad position.  I negotiated with them that I was going to move and due to the miscommunication and the tribulation they put me through this week, I would not be paying April's rent and that would be the end of it.  They really want me to stay and I think they're genuinely sorry that they did what they did, but things that have been said/done cannot be unsaid/undone and I no longer feel comfortable living there.  Plus, I had emotionally gotten ready to be moving and started making plans and feeling a new fresh beginning coming on, so I am not willing to give that up.  They asked me to sleep on it and let them know today.

 

Well I got electricity, television, internet and phone service connected for April 26th, changed my address with half a dozen government agencies and my work, my cell phone, the vet and my storage company.  My drivers license is changed and my insurance now reflects my new address.

 

I've made plans for people to come and help me move, boxes to pack in and something to do with the cat while the packing/moving transition takes place... so what do you think my answer to them will be tonight?

 

I'M OUTTA HERE!

 

Pictures of the new place just as soon as I can get in there next week... I need to measure for some stuff!

Documentation

Sunday, March 25, 2012

7:21pm (28 seconds)  Mrs. called and asked if I was busy and could they please come down and chat with me.  I preferred them not to come in to the apartment as it agitates the cat so I volunteered to meet them upstairs in their living room.

I arrived two minutes later.

Mr. and Mrs. l stated that because of their daughters pending wedding, they had a lot of out of town guests coming, including Mrs’s mother who was coming from India.  Mrs. mother would be staying for two months for the wedding along with some other relatives and Mr. and Mrs. wanted her to stay with them at their home.

Mr. and Mrs. then stated that because they didn’t have room in their portion of the house, they wanted to give the relatives the suite downstairs, where I pay rent to live.

Before I could say anything, Mr. told me that they had a plan and that they had another property a few minutes away that was vacant at the moment and that they would like me to move there for the two months that their relatives were living downstairs.

They said that once the relatives left, that I could move back.

I questioned them, stating that it would be very difficult and disruptive to me to pack up everything in my home, furniture and contents included and move down the street for two months, only to pack again and move back.  Mr assured me that he would provide his son and nephew to do the physical moving but that I was on my own for packing.  At no time was any monetary compensation offered.

They told me at this time that if I did not take them up on their favor to temporarily move to the move to the more expensive place for the same price, then they would have no choice but to evict me.

At this time I inquired as to what the financial implications were to me and he assured me that I would continue to pay rent on my suite but would not be paying rent on the temporary suite.  He told me that he was doing me a favor because the rent on the temporary suite is market valued at $1000 but that he would not charge me the difference. Again, no monetary compensation was offered.  It was to be status quo with me paying rent, but packing and moving to a different temporary location.

I mentioned that if they were expecting me to move, then I would have to consider just moving entirely as with a full time job and obligations there was little to no way that I could undertake packing a two bedroom apartment and moving and then packing it back up and moving it back.  They said that they wanted me to stay living in their suite and that they were only doing this favor for me because of the long time tenancy, since I have lived there for 11+ years.

When I asked what their proposed timeline was for this, Mr., suggested that I was welcome to move out as soon as April 15.

Mr then suggested that we go and view the suite.

I agreed to go and see the suite.  It was not suitable for me in any way.

When we got home, Mr. and Mrs. asked me to tell them right away if I was going to temporarily move into their other home or move entirely because if I didn’t take the temporary suite they were going to rent it out and they had to know right away.

I told them that I did not have the ability to answer at that moment as I had only been aware of this situation they were putting toward me for an hour.

The next morning I phoned Mrs. at 8:11AM on March 26, 2012 and spoke to her for 44 seconds.

I asked her to please put a copy of my rental agreement (which I have never received) in the mailbox for me for when I got home and also a written statement of what they were asking me to do, complete with dates and financial information (no extra charge for the ‘more expensive’ suite).

Mrs. told me that they were not going to put it in writing because ‘we’re friends, that’s why we had a verbal conversation.  We’re going to do it verbally, not in writing unless you’re mad’.  I said ‘unless I’m what?’ and she responded saying that we’re friends and this was going to be taken care of verbally.

I asked her to please put the rental agreement in the mailbox for me and she said she would and hung up.  As of March 27, 2012 at 3:42pm, I have not received a copy of the rental agreement.

_______________________________

March 27, 2012 9pm.

I went upstairs to talk to Mr. and Mrs. as previously arranged.  Mrs was not present but Mr. said that we could talk anyway.

I told him that I was very offended by the suggestion that I move out for two months after I had made my home here and he acknowledged that he knew I was upset and offended.

I said that I didn’t think it was reasonable for them to expect me to pack up my apartment for two months and continue paying rent as a favor to them.

I told him about Section 49 and that they were required to give me two months’ notice before I had to move and that they had to pay the last month of rent.  Then I said that since two months from April 1 is passed the wedding date, that I would move out for May 1 but I wanted some incentive as legally I am entitled to stay until May 31.

Nav (daughter) entered the discussion and said that she didn’t think it was necessary to be discussing ‘legal’ things and that we should just figure this out as friends.  She said that they wanted me to do this as a favor to them and that there shouldn’t need to be an incentive to move out for two months when they were asking so nicely.

I told Mr. what my offer was to move out prior to the legal entitlement.

Two months rent, my existing damage deposit and the damage deposit for the new apartment and moving costs, all totaling $3200.

Mr. suggested that they just give me one month of rent.  I told him that I was already legally entitled to that month of rent but should be technically living there for May also, and that if he wanted me to move sooner, he would have to give me the May rent to which I am legally entitled AND an agreed upon incentive for the quicker move out.

Nav seemed to understand my position but said that she didn’t think it was fair.

She also said that her interpretation of the RTA was that if they gave two months notice, they didn’t have to pay last months rent.

Nav also said that if they hadn’t ‘accidentally’ told me that they wanted me to move for relatives, then they could have evicted me with only one months notice, no monetary incentive and just cancelled my residency in the suite.

I referred her to Section 49 of the RTA and she said that she would look it up herself because she read it earlier in the day and inferred that as landlords they were under no legal obligation to pay anything.

The conversation ended with Nav agreeing to explain the situation to her parents in their native tongue and that they would get back to me with their offer.

I said that unless the offer was mutually acceptable that I wouldn’t leave until May 31 and that they would still be required to pay the last month’s rent and the damage deposit.

Pros, Cons and why I have a stomach ache

 

Well, as per the post below... I'm moving.

 

I'm in a much better headspace now, but don't get me wrong, I'm still furious.  But I went and looked at and put an application in at an apartment that I could see myself living in for a while and it's given me a little bit of clarity that I'm going to be okay.

 

This whole thing has been a bit difficult to process... It's only been about 36 hours since I found out, so it's not that surprising that I'm having a few brain gliches.  In that case, a list or two...

 

Pros

 

No longer in a basement suite (I didn't mind it but I'd like to look out the window and not be eye level with the sidewalk)

The wind won't howl through the gap in the door making the house sound haunted (that used to REALLY creep me out)

No more carpet which means no more vacuuming.  Swiffer all the way baby!

Dedicated craft room (if I get a two bedroom)

Laundry in the building (just steps from 'my' apartment... I can do laundry in the middle of the night if I want!)

There is common area carpet between outside and my door... no more tracking outside right in!

The cat stays inside so I don't have to worry about him getting in fights or getting run over

It's a 9 min walk to a pretty nice shopping area with lots of cafes and one of my fave sushi places

The furniture i have in storage will all fit

There is no bad memories or reminders... it's a completely fresh start

No one will know where I live unless I tell them

I can likely get a small deep freeze

 

 

Cons

 

there's no outdoor space so no more bbq or patio chairs

The cat has to stay inside (I'm worried about him becoming really miserable)

Litter box!

It's more expensive

There's not a lot of visitor parking

It's farther away from my peeps

It would be more than a seven minute drive to Hardeep's

 

 

Worries (or why I have a stomach ache)

 

Packing the fridge/freezer

Making a new neighborhood 'my' neighborhood

The cat being upset

That I probably can't take or reuse the vinyl decals on my walls

That I might not be able to take my crystal chandelier with me

That I have to put the kitty in the cat hotel and then power pack because he might run away when he sees packing boxes

Confronting my landlords for money ** more on this below

That my landlords will not give me a good reference because they're mad at me

 

 

So I've decided that since my landlords illegally told me I had to move and are being inconsiderate (asking someone to move for two months, continue paying rent and then move back, all with no monetary compensation), I'm going to make them a deal.  Either pay me a significant amount of money (three months rent) and I'll move out for May 1... OR... I'll take the two months I"m legally entitled to, they'll still owe me one month rent and my damage deposit and I'll move on May 26th, which is their daughters wedding day and they're having the party in the back yard.  I'll make full use of my outside area to stage moving ahead of time, when they're having all their pre-parties and I'm pretty sure it will be a disruptive and unpleasant looking mess.  Plus, they won't be able to use the suite for the time prior to the wedding for their out of town guests.

Either way... fine by me ;) (but not really because I don't like confrontation... I want them to give me what I want.... and they need to decide asap because I need to make arrangements for the kitty hotel)

 

I'm super stressed... punctuated by times of feeling excited by this new living adventure...

 

Any advice on my cons or more pros you can think of would be much appreciated.

Just not a good time

Maybe this time of year just isn't a good time for me... 

I rec'd a call at 7 tonight asking me to come upstairs and talk to my landlords.  I knew EXACTLY what it was they were going to tell me and I was right.
I'm kicked out.  They're having a wedding in May and about three thousand people from India are coming for the wedding and they want my apartment to let some of them live there for three months.
That's right.  May.  It's March 25 right now.  I had planned to move this year, when my tax debt was paid off... but no... I'm now required to move asap... as in, in the next month.

I spoke to Sam, who was more calm than I was and it turns out that the Landlords are not playing fair, they owe me a lot of money based on this and technically they can't make me leave till June 1st.  I'm going to file a complaint with RTA, but I'm not going to stay here through the wedding... I may as well just get going.

I've cried a lot tonight... being kicked out of your home doesn't feel nice.  Nope.

Long Overdue

Long overdue for a little show and tell...

I'm wearing my very first hand knit sweater today.  It's actually the second day I've worn it.

I didn't do an excellent job of blocking it, so it needs to be redone, but for now, it's just fine!

For anyone interested, I knit it out of Alafosslopi (3.1 skeins) on US 10.5 needles and I modified the pattern to include sleeves.  It's Shalom on Ravelry.  The button is from a woodworker on Vancouver Island.

Tax Related Saga

Last night I was having a killer craving for Coke Zero.  I only ever drink water with an occassional coffee on the weekends thrown in.  So when a craving such as that comes up, I have no choice but to succumb.  When I got my beverage home I realized that there's no ice in the freezer and the pop was warm from sitting on the grocery shelf.  So I did what any right minded person would do and I used Citrus Vodka that lives in the freezer to cool my drink... yes... I used enough ice cold vodka to make an entire can of coke cold... twice!

After successfully knitting for a bit and then taking an allergy pill, apparently instead of going to bed like I had planned, I did (read as 'fooled around with') my taxes.

Having not prepared for such an event, I used the only pencil in my house, which has no eraser and a VERY dull lead.
About an hour later I had done them three times... each time coming up with a different alarming number for what I owed.

I came to work this morning and immediately got on Turbo Tax and did a 'test' to see how accurate I was.  Apparently not so much... because I actually get a refund... which is a departure from the outcome of my first attempt, which said I owed $2900.

Moral:  Don't use freezer vodka to make your warm coke cool... it doesn't lead anywhere good.

MORAL: At least drink enough to not be able to hold the pencil...

Good Monday Morning!

I was told today at 7:45 that I seemed like I was in an awfully good mood... I told the guy that said it that no one had given me bad news yet today so I was holding on to my positive energy for as long as I could... It's now 10:45 and still no bad news...  (work related bad news has already seeped in to my day and ruined it by 8am almost every day)

 

This weekend was quite fun... also quite restful.  I think I'm coming down with something or fighting something off because I slept a LOT this weekend.

 

On Friday Sam and I usually have Friday night dinner, but he was and I quote 'dead busy' doing school work and I was so tired my eyes were watering at 3pm, so we cancelled dinner.  I went home with the intention of having a short (operative word was short) nap and then off to do some errands... At 10pm I woke up to send a quick text to Glenda to find out when we were meeting the next morning and then fell back asleep. With all the lights on... weird!

 

On Saturday morning we got together for a nice breakfast at Roots Cafe and then we made the epic trek out to Abbotsford to check out Fibres West.  It was bigger than last year.. all of our favorites were still there, plus some new vendors.

 

It was a lot of fun and we both got some goodies... I found a button for my new sweater...it's cherry and walnut and handcrafted by a man on Vancouver Island.  He himself actually helped me pick out the perfect button for my sweater. 

 

 

All in all, my sweater cost me $23 in yarn and $6 for a button.  The pattern was free.  I'd say that's a pretty good deal, wouldn't you?

 

I also bought some AMAZING alpaca for my next sweater... it's going to cost substantially more than $29 from start to finish, but I don't care... The yarn is a gorgeous gray and brown natural mix and soft as a cloud!   

 

The only problem with this yarn is that it's not the right guage for the sweater I'm making so apparently I'll have to do some math... I did a guage swatch tho... I'm told that should help...

 

The last thing I bought was some vintage rayon seam binding to use to try and fix my Cedar Trees scarf that just won't lay flat...

 

After we left the festival (with a quick stop at the vending machine for Cheezies (My sweet American Friends... you should do whatever you can to convince your Canadian friends to send these to you!), we headed out on our own little Yarn Crawl... not often either of us get out to the Valley, so we decided to make it worth our while...

 

 

We stopped at one yarn store where we learned all the things that we're not crazy about in yarn stores... and we didn't buy a thing... the whole trip there was summed up for me by the sight of a staff member spending inordinate amounts of time untangling a ball of pastel blue fun fur... My personal thought on it was 'I wouldn't pay you to stand there and do that... throw it out!...

This store had samples that were knit 7-8 years ago (the woman actually told us this!), white wire shelving and  a really loud, sort of manic vibe.

 

After that we went to a gorgeous store in Port Moody.  It's everything that a yarn store should be.  Very friendly creative staff, samples straight off the needles of gorgeous and currently popular items and a lovely set up with beautiful wood shelves and interesting manequins and display items. It was a pleasure to just be in the store, looking, touching, chatting...

I bought buttons... shocking, I know!

 

 

Finally we headed back into town and stopped at one last store on Hastings.  It's quite a different vibe... very young and hip and trendy with friendly, very easy going staff.  They had samples of garments that were designed by their employees and great display shelving and unique packaging of fibre.

 

That was the end of Saturday and Sunday was spent in my jammies... then I had a shower and changed into fresh jammies... Exciting ya?

 

No big plans for this week... work is kind of crazy and now I have sweater worth of yarn to knit with... Waahooo!

 

 

Some things are just ugly...

I've been working on this project off and on for a while now... It's knitting in the round, so it's not exactly difficult.  I had this beautiful 70% silk/30% wool yarn and all I could think was 'It wants to be a scarf'.  Not only did it want to be a scarf, but I thought it wanted to be a nice stockinette infinity scarf and it didn't want garter around the edges.  So knitting in the round... yup!  I can work on it with my eyes closed... chatting... perfect take anywhere project and the yarn was a pleasure to knit with... Until...

 

Until I realized after about 12-14" that it was ugly... like UGLY!  So I started polling people to see what they thought... and by people, I mean I asked Sam.  He said it wasn't ugly and to keep going on it... altho he also just mentioned last night that he has no taste and that he wants a sweater with a cat ear hoodie and claw mittens, so his advice should have been taken with a grain of salt.. anyway, I asked the question, he said it wasn't ugly so I kept going.  I started to think that maybe I should ask a fellow knitter...

 

I was hoping she'd say that it wasn't ugly and that I should just keep going...  I mean, I put a reasonable amount of work into it and no one likes to think they're working to make something ugly... in the back of my mind I knew it was ugly... apparently, according to my fellow knitter, it was 'Not the prettiest thing' she'd ever seen... Friend speak for 'yes, it's ugly but I don't want to hurt your feelings'.

 

So last night while my sweater was soaking (yes, it's finished... but don't get excited yet... it's not ready for public viewing!) I decided to bite the bullet while I was feeling mature and rip it out...

 

I think karma was getting back at me for something because I had ripped it and was rewinding the ball when it went FLYING off the ball winder about 10 yards from the end... the middle fell out of the ball and bounced happily across the floor...

 

In the glow of my sweater finishing glee tho, I wouldn't let 500 yards of silk get the better of me and in the end I won! 

 

Also, go visit my sister and give her a hug today... the reason is at the end of this post

 

 

Couldn't have planned it better myself!

Well, to be fair, I did partially plan this weekend, but it was even better than I was expecting!

Friday afternoon Sam and I went to get the fluffballs on the tops of our heads tamed... I HAVE GOT to start putting advance appointments in my calendar so my hair stays as dang good looking as it is now... the man is a genius!
After hair we met up with a long time friend of Sam's from back in Saskatchewan and had dinner at Locus.  Since we're both going grain and dairy free starting tomorrow, we were sort of living it up this weekend.  I had a grilled cheese with carmalized onions on marble rye and a ceaser.  So good!

After I dropped them off downtown to go clubbing (P'cess doesn't 'club'), I went home and got up at the crack of dawn on Saturday to clean the house, make the pillows, prep dinner and then head down to Glenda's work to go yarn shopping (who can resist a sale!).

On Saturday night, Kathleen came over for dinner (recipe to follow) and then Sam and his friend Matt came over to visit and have a beer.  We had a great time.  It's been a LONG time since I opened the door to my home for someone I didn't know... it was kind of an anxious moment but Kathleen helped me tidy up dinner and ease my mind.  As much as I've come a long way in the last ten months, I'm still very insular and my inner circle is tight and I don't like letting people into it.  The funny thing was, Matt sort of just 'fit'... he's very nice, considerate, funny and not at all assuming, so it was very comfortable.  Score one for me!  I met new people this weekend AND one of them came over to the house.

The only down side of Saturday night was Sunday morning... Since I drank the better (and I mean BETTER) part of two bottles of wine and a beer (lol, I typed bear... I did not drink a bear!), Sunday morning spent a goodly amount of time trying to kill me.  Kathleen was up and out of the house for her class at 9 and I was very ambitious... I got in the shower, styled my new do, applied makeup and then started waiting around for our brunch date... By 10:05, I had accidentally climbed back into bed (fully clothed) and started moaning about my poor aching head.  Sam called and said brunch was delayed and that he'd wake me up when it was time to go... 
By 12:30 when he called I was seriously tempted to throw the phone against the wall and go back to sleep, but I'm more (not much ) mature than that so I hauled out of bed and went for brunch.

Brunch, errands, cooking and cleaning later, I went for a nap in the afternoon and I've been hanging out on the sofa with my new (very favorite) knitting project... 

I feel like I really squeezed as much fun as I could handle out of this weekend.  It was great seeing both my very closest friends and meeting a new one... napping, cooking, good food and laughs. What more can you ask for?  Besides an Advil... or three...

Local time is 9:25am

So far this morning I've done two sinks of dishes, cleaned the kitchen, tidied the clutter, stripped the bed, gathered the laundry and made four new toss cushions for my bed.

Yep.. I sure know how to take it easy!  Yep!

 

Talk about a rude awakening!

 

As you know by now, I really have a thing for my bed... I spend more time thinking about how I can make it even BETTER than is really reasonable.  Don't judge me, we all have our 'things'.  Anyway, I came up with a plan about a month ago to pretty-ify my bed even more than it is all the while making it even MORE cozy.. as if that were possible.

 

In order to trial this plan without spending money first, I stole the wool/feather pillows off the couch to use as the 'bolster cushions' along the back of my headboard.  Mission success!  So I went out and bought some beautiful wool fabric, feather cushion inserts, cut out the pieces and then it sat for a while...

 

Well last night at 2am my plan sort of fell apart... Since the pillows are loose and there are five of them across the bed... they aren't exactly secure... I move around and then they move around... and they knock my stainless steel water bottle into my glass lamp... my bottle richochets off the lamp and falls off the nightstand... CLANGING off the metal bedframe and smacking the cat bowl, scattering food all over the bedroom... obviously this scared the living daylights out of me since I was ASLEEP at the time...

It was difficult to go back to sleep because it seems that my plan to comfy-ify and beautify my bed might actually scare-ify my bed too much for me to handle...

 

In other news:

 

I may be in slight trouble at work for throwing Pineapple Bob at one of our directors

 

I got a promotion... but that was prior to the Pineapple Bob incident...

 

I'm getting my shaggy mop of hair cut tonight... Since I threatened to cut my own hair only to be admonished, I've decided to show up at the stylist's wearing my shower cap.

 

I've gone back to list making... it's making me less crazy and more functional... it's amazing what getting back to things that work does for you!

 

I just wore my shower cap through the office... because it was very very funny....

 

This weekend is going to be nice and relaxing... and will contain a grocery trip to start my cleanse... more on that later.

Lemon Rocket II

Undateable?

So I was listening to the radio this morning and the same old, too often gone over arguement was being argued AGAIN!  Dating in Vancouver is hard.  Should we blame that on the snotty too good for you, gold digger women, or the living in my parents basement, don't know what a 'good date' even is men.

 

This argument infuriates me... mostly because the two phrases 'All Vancouver Women' and 'All Vancouver Men' are used.

 

If you've ever read the papers here or even live here, or know where Vancouver is on a map, perhaps you've heard that the dating scene is terrible, with each side blaming the other for the lack of romance.

 

In this arguement, the location is any downtown bar on a Friday or Saturday night.  The men say they want someone 'hot, sexy, young, pretty, funny and 'not fat'.  They want someone that can 'dress up and dress down'.  Enjoy a night on the town and also be comfortable in sweats.  Someone that works out and is fit but is not obsessed with their bodies.  Someone that takes care of themselves but is not high maintenance. Someone intelligent but not too serious...  What they REALLY want is a girl-next-door-perfect-10.  I'm not saying this is an impossible ask, but writing down your 'dream girl' based on Penthouse magazine's latest issue is probably not that realistic.

 

The women say that they want a tall, attractive, man with a good sense of humor.  And these women that the 'unfussy' men above are meeting?  What they REALLY want is money, cars, money and money.  According to the men.

 

So. The arguement persists... All Vancouver women are money hungry gold diggers and all Vancouver men are undateable boars.

 

But wait.... that can't possibly be the end of the story.

 

I'm going to use myself as an example here because I consider myself pretty average and in sheer contrast to the bar going women mentioned above.

 

I'm a Vancouver woman.  I've lived and worked here for over 10 years, so even tho I'm a 'transplant' as a former blog reader was so eloquent to point out (and by eloquent, I mean rude), I consider myself fully aclimatized to the culture here.

 

I have a good job with a pension and benefits and I go there five days a week for around 8 or so hours a day.

I've been told I'm very funny and even approached in a coffee shop only to hear that I have 'the best laugh'.

I rent my own apartment, drive my own car and have a small handful of very close friends.

I'm a pretty casual person... I wear jeans to work and the Vancouver uniform of lululemon almost the entire rest of the time.

I'd rather eat in with a bottle of wine and good company than go to the bar... so loud and expensive... and SHALLOW (more on this in a minute)

I enjoy my alone time and the company of friends and family to an almost equal division.

I'm not clingy or needy or whiney

 

And I think with all the above, I'd refer to myself as more the average Vancouver woman than the women mentioned above.

 

And I know there are Vancouver men the same.

Vancouver men who have good jobs.

Vancouver men who rent or own their own place

Vancouver men who are easy going and kind hearted

Vancouver men who stay as far away from the bar scene as I do... for the same reasons.

Vancouver men who really do want a woman that's funny, self sufficient, fun and... for lack of a better word... normal.  Just a normal girl they can relate to.

 

So why are these men and women that are so bitterly engaged in the battle of who's 'fault' the Vancouver dating scene not finding love?

 

Because you're looking for it at an alcohol flooded, shallow, hookup spot.  The men are fuelled by alcohol and testosterone and they neglect to see that the women that are there, also fuelled by alcohol are clearly high maintenance.  I'm going to generalize, and I do believe that there are 'normal' people that go to bars... but I KNOW that there are women there in their stilletos and mini skirts, done up to the nines that are looking for 'love'... and there are men there pretending to want an 'average' girl but never in their lives willing to settle for someone 10 lbs overweight.

 

I kind of wish that there was some sort of 'marking' system... for both the men and the women... and those 'undateable' men and women could spot eachother and continue the never ending battle for finding the 'perfect' guy or girl (which doesn't exist) and the rest of us normal folks would be out of their picture.

 

Because I believe in any city, there are 'undateable' people.  I think the people that are bitching the loudest are the ones that are alos being bitched about the loudest and they all deserve eachother.

Proof Positive

I'm finally convinced that this will end up as a finished and wearable sweater... I've tried it on, it fits, it looks good and it's over 1/3 done...
Please excuse the crappy iphone photo...the color is actually a rust red... It actually reminds me of a tractor... 

 

 

IN. LOVE.

WITH THIS!

This and That

Not very much interesting has happened this week... I spent one day in my bed with a terrible headache... feeling a bit better now, but sure glad it's the weekend!

I went on my Valentine's date with Sam and we had a lot of fun!  We went to Cupcakes for some treats and a before dinner appetizer.  Yes, all they serve is cupcakes, so yes, we ate cupcakes for an appetizer!  I only ate the top of mine and gave the cake part to Sam... Mine was the Diva... yummy!

 

Our next stop was a visit with some friends that I haven't seen in about 7 years... apparently one of them didn't recognize me because I didn't have long hair???  I can't even remember when the last time I had long hair was...

Then we went to Save On Meats for dinner.  It was really delicious.  Not exactly fancy restaurant faire, but very cool ambiance (we sat at the bar) and very friendly staff and good food.  What more can you ask for?  Plus, their mandate is really to help the community as much as they can.  Their location is in the heart of the famous Downtown East Side and the inhabitants for the most part are folks pretty down on their luck.  The fact that they can come in and get good healthy fresh food for $5 a plate is fantastic!  They have a butcher shop on the other side of their shop and that also sells affordable meat and other grocery products so the less fortunate residents can have a good meal!

 

 

Afterwards we went to Little Sisters Bookstore to buy Valentine's day cards... I found a totally hilarious line of cards that I resisted buying every one of them... with the intent to look up the company online... I think the Bailey's milkshake I had with dinner went to my head because I didn't write it down or take a picture... so... Fail... :(

 

 

Nothing much else to report.  I started a new sweater and it's actually going really well.  I'm mostly done the yoke (3 rows to go) and then I can separate for the sleeves... so exciting because that means I can put it on!

 

This weekend I'm going to work on my relationship with Stevie the TV and get to know Lofa the Sofa a bit better ;)

 

And here's a picture of what I see on the wall in my bathroom every morning.  How can you not smile!

 

I Saw, I Want, I Love, I Need

1.  I saw a couple get engaged two weeks ago... It appeared that they rented the Downtown Historic Railway Car and he proposed to her in the rain at the little station.  It was really cute and they had photographers and their friends and family were on the train watching... She seemed genuinely surprised.. which I gathered from spying on them from my office with binos.  

2.  I want to punch myself in the face based on someone elses irrational life management skills.  It makes me want to scream and yell because I don't understand YET AGAIN (!) why I have to be an adult, get up and go to work and keep living my life through the hardest 10 months I've ever struggled through and others get what seems to be a free pass to be useless and check out.  I know life is not fair and you only get out of it what you're willing to put into it, and I'm willing to put as much as I can in, where other people are not, but it's still maddening that these people seem to get all the support and time off and any other thing they 'need' and people like me get tossed off to the wayside as not 'needing anything' because we're not a bunch of quitters.

3.  I love that for Valentine's Day, Sam and I are going to the Downtown East Side (the 2nd poorest postal code in Canada) for dinner.(duh edit... we're going the day AFTER...)  If you have the Oprah Network, maybe you've seen the show Gastown Gamble.  If you watch Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, you may have seen it recently. It's called Save-on Meats and it started out in 1957 as a butcher and diner.  They've reopened the diner portion as an inexpensive and tasty restaurant and I hear it's really good.  They have Breakfast Poutine (fries, squeaky cheese and a fried egg), Coffee flavored milkshakes and Chocolate Chip Bacon Cookies.  Here's a link to the menu if you want to titilate your tastebuds a little.

4.  I need to block a shawl I just I finished.  I started it March 2011... Sort of knit off and on on it and then it was too far in to rip it out, so I stuck it in a far deep corner of my knitting area and let it wait...Some how it worked it's way out of 'storage' and onto my coffee table... where it sat mocking me for a time... When I realized I really didn't have a single other thing on the needles, I took it to coffee and Glenda and I managed to figure out a way to end it on the yarn left and have it look good.  It looks FANTASTIC!  I'm really excited about washing and blocking it... Here's a close up of what the pattern is.

Why does it matter to you?

Proposition 8 was overturned in California today as unconstitutional.  For those that don't know, Proposition 8 was a California ballot proposition that sought to change the California Constitution to add a new section (7.5) to Article I, that would read: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

 

 

Obviously, for those that support (or should I say, have no reason not to support) equality for all, that was a huge loss.  This morning in a 2-1 ruling, the Ninth Circuit Court of California ruled it was unconstitutional. Same-sex couples won't be running to the alter any time soon, since the order was stayed so that supporters of Prop 8 can appeal.

This is what one of the judges said this morning:

"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples," states the opinion written by Judge Stephen Reinhardt, one of the court's most liberal judges.

 

Now, here's where my question comes in.  Why does it matter?  Why does a heterosexual in a stable relationship care if two homosexuals get married? That gay or lesbian person wasn't going to marry YOU anyway, so why do you care?  I know, I know, lots of prop 8 supporters (and other anti same sex marriage supporters) say that it diminishes the 'impact' of marriage.  That it cheapens it.  Again, what does someone else's marriage have to do with YOUR marriage?  If you eat white rice and I eat brown rice, does my eating brown rice make your rice less white?  If you're a vegetarian, does my eating meat make you less of a vegetarian?  What if I said that I was a vegetarian that ate meat on occassion.  Does that cheapen how YOU feel about being a vegetarian?

 

For that matter, since we're talking about food, and this entry has already strayed from the general topics of this blog, let me ask why there's 'fat-hate'.  What difference does it make if I'm 30 or 80lbs over weight and you're not.  Does that impact your life?  Does it give you a lesser quality of life? 

 

How about religion?  Does my being or not being of a certain religion affect how you worship and celebrate your religion?

 

I don't think I'm a good person to have this conversation with because I just don't care what other people do.  Not that I don't care about other people, but as long as everyone is consenting adults, free to make up their own minds and hearts about what they want and don't want, then that means that they get to be in charge of their destiny. In charge of their own happy, whatever that looks like.

 

I'm sitting in a place of privilege to write this, don't get me wrong.  I'm not homosexual, I'm not morbidly obese and my chosen religion is one that is not persecuted here where I live and not in many many other countries.  I have no disfigurement, no learning disability and do have money.

 

I know a lot of people would say that it's easy for me to sit in my life and wonder why this is such a big deal.  And to those people, I would say 'I'm on YOUR side!'.  It would be easy to sit here in my life and say that same sex marriage is sacrilige and that being fat is disgusting and a drain on the health system (like smoking, drugs and drinking aren't??) and that everyone should be a Christian because that's what I am.  But easy never got anyone anywhere... Easy isn't my cup of tea.

 

I wish this blog got more traffic because I'd like someone to calmly explain to me why it matters.  Why what someone else does in their own time, on their own dime matters to you.

 

If you have insight into why people feel this way, please share... because it boggles my mind!

 

Her

So I'm not that good at thinking up things to blog about lately... Like my sister says, I'm not wearing my bloggles...

So I'm going to steal from her, because I had this kind of epiphany last night...Her blog from this morning starts with a memory of something she enjoyed and got back to doing...

My epiphany, while having no action behind it, leads me to believe that there is an awakening happening in my mind... pieces of the very distant past being freed... surfacing in the present and reminding me who I once was... (this is the very distant HAPPY past, not the more recent miserable past).

I got home from work last night and the only thing on my mind was a shower.  It's weird because I don't usually shower at night and certainly not as the most important first thing I do when I get home.

So I popped my shower cap (can you buy nice ones, or do I have to continue to steal from hotels??) on my head (I just hate wet hair!) and hopped in... As I let my mind drift, it drifted back to the many many showers I used to take when I was running and going to boot.  Depending on the day, sometimes three, most of the time, two.

Thinking nothing of it, I got out and bury'd my face in my towel... and the most familiar soapy, lotiony smell  of showers gone by filled my lungs... I don't use scented products and this morning when I went to use my same towel, I couldn't find the smell... but in that moment, as I dried my face and took off my stupid cheap shower cap, I looked at myself in the mirror and in there... behind my eyes, I saw her... The her that doesn't hate herself...the her that has never left me... The her that knows she's strong enough to make it back... The her that is still mired in conflict and hiding deep inside came a little closer to the surface and peaked out... just for a minute.

I'm holding on to her... I'm still going to let her come out in her own time... I'm afraid to scare her off... but I got to see her last night... a glimpse... and she's just as healthy and happy and strong as she was when I left her... And she didn't even seem sad or disappointed that she got left behind... for I only left her to protect her... to hide her from the pain and anguish that she didn't deserve to have to endure.  I put her away so that at least a part of me would survive unscathed.  Maybe she could have helped me... but I'm glad that none of the last five years touched her...