Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Why does it matter to you?

Proposition 8 was overturned in California today as unconstitutional.  For those that don't know, Proposition 8 was a California ballot proposition that sought to change the California Constitution to add a new section (7.5) to Article I, that would read: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."
Obviously, for those that support (or should I say, have no reason not to support) equality for all, that was a huge loss.  This morning in a 2-1 ruling, the Ninth Circuit Court of California ruled it was unconstitutional. Same-sex couples won't be running to the alter any time soon, since the order was stayed so that supporters of Prop 8 can appeal.
This is what one of the judges said this morning:
"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples," states the opinion written by Judge Stephen Reinhardt, one of the court's most liberal judges.
Now, here's where my question comes in.  Why does it matter?  Why does a heterosexual in a stable relationship care if two homosexuals get married? That gay or lesbian person wasn't going to marry YOU anyway, so why do you care?  I know, I know, lots of prop 8 supporters (and other anti same sex marriage supporters) say that it diminishes the 'impact' of marriage.  That it cheapens it.  Again, what does someone else's marriage have to do with YOUR marriage?  If you eat white rice and I eat brown rice, does my eating brown rice make your rice less white?  If you're a vegetarian, does my eating meat make you less of a vegetarian?  What if I said that I was a vegetarian that ate meat on occassion.  Does that cheapen how YOU feel about being a vegetarian?
For that matter, since we're talking about food, and this entry has already strayed from the general topics of this blog, let me ask why there's 'fat-hate'.  What difference does it make if I'm 30 or 80lbs over weight and you're not.  Does that impact your life?  Does it give you a lesser quality of life? 
How about religion?  Does my being or not being of a certain religion affect how you worship and celebrate your religion?
I don't think I'm a good person to have this conversation with because I just don't care what other people do.  Not that I don't care about other people, but as long as everyone is consenting adults, free to make up their own minds and hearts about what they want and don't want, then that means that they get to be in charge of their destiny. In charge of their own happy, whatever that looks like.
I'm sitting in a place of privilege to write this, don't get me wrong.  I'm not homosexual, I'm not morbidly obese and my chosen religion is one that is not persecuted here where I live and not in many many other countries.  I have no disfigurement, no learning disability and do have money.
I know a lot of people would say that it's easy for me to sit in my life and wonder why this is such a big deal.  And to those people, I would say 'I'm on YOUR side!'.  It would be easy to sit here in my life and say that same sex marriage is sacrilige and that being fat is disgusting and a drain on the health system (like smoking, drugs and drinking aren't??) and that everyone should be a Christian because that's what I am.  But easy never got anyone anywhere... Easy isn't my cup of tea.
I wish this blog got more traffic because I'd like someone to calmly explain to me why it matters.  Why what someone else does in their own time, on their own dime matters to you.
If you have insight into why people feel this way, please share... because it boggles my mind!


Shannon said...

I liked this explanation, good article!

It's been said that when a person has a strong hatred of something, it's usually something in their own life that they actually are unhappy with or that the hated situation reminds them of. And since most people won't actively flame themselves, they turn it on the easiest source.

Tarable said...

*If everyone is the same as me then it means I'm normal and nothing is wrong with me and also that the choices I have made in my life and/or the lifestyle I lead are good and right. When people have beliefs or lifestyles that are different than mine it makes me uncomfortable and opens up too many hard questions that I don't want to think about. So if everyone could just stay within the confines of a "normal" life then that will keep me happy.

*NOT at all what I believe but I think but I think this might be the deep down thoughts/fears of those whom it matters to.

Kat said...

I read something recently that made sense...

If someone shames you, it discharges there own pain/shame and allows them to feel secure again.