Friday, August 31, 2012

Just Relax!

Not as easy done as said my friends.  There's this thing I like to call my Brain Baggage.  It's a never ending loop of worries and responsibilities and expectations.  It's also creative thoughts, ideas, plans, dreams, goals.  Not all negative, but the result of carrying it all around at all times of the day (and night) is negative.
I don't stop thinking about it, and certainly, it goes everywhere with me. Work, home, the bathroom, bedtime... anywhere I am, my pack of baggage is.  It's hard to relax when you're carrying that around.  It's heavy and it constantly reminds you of it's presence.  It strains your shoulders, burns your neck... your head and back ache from the strain of pretending that you don't have an elephant strapped to your back... to your mind.
The answer then most definitely would be to set the damn pack down every once in a while and allow yourself to feel lighter wouldn't it? To stretch your arms and legs... your back and shoulders and see what just being feels like... without being suffocated and weighed down.  Do you think if you set it down often enough, you could figure out how to pick less of it up every time.  How to differenciate between what is essential, and what can be left in storage.
Where do you store that non essential stuff so you don't have to pack it around? I guess every person has a different storage system.  A blog, a list, a book. 
I often buy books... beautiful blank notebooks and then never write a spec in them.  I find the blank pages to be refreshing and an inspiration.  Perhaps I should let the book hold the brain baggage and let my mind be refreshing and an inspiration.
I've decided to commit to learning how to physically relax.. To putting down that Brain Baggage for a time...  I don't relax.  I don't ever ask my body to let go of what it's holding on to and rejeuvenate.  I tried that last night... I've been having a terrible time sleeping... I can't get to sleep and then when I'm asleep I feel like I'm busy the whole time so when I wake up, I need a nap to recover from being so 'busy' all night and I think that it's not a great idea to have to take Gravol every night.
My friend Kathleen suggested I download an app (there's an app for that!) that was a guided meditation... I did... it guided me through relaxing... from my tippy toes to the top of my head... Altho I guess you're supposed to end up in some sort of 'trance', my mind was still beebopping all over the place but I could feel my body relaxing.  One thing at a time I told myself, so I allowed myself to just get what I could out of it, which was to feel my body relax.  I didn't particularly care for her voice, so when that was done (30 min) I downloaded a different one.  It was a male voice and I'm not sure if it was because I had also taken a half a Gravol, or because I was really relaxed, but I managed to fall asleep.  Of course then I woke up, realized I'd been asleep, rejoiced a bit, took the headphones off, rolled over and then was WIDE AWAKE worrying about how I was going to fall back asleep.
I think putting my brain baggage in a book, setting down the pack every once in a while and learning how to breath and relax so as to give my body and mind a chance at relaxation will be immensely helpful.  Maybe I'll still have to take a Gravol to go to sleep but I think that now that I have no toxins in my body, no toxins on my body, my mind deserves a break from all those toxins too.
It's funny, this 'grain free' thing... When I committed to doing it, and found within days that it was a pleasant result, it started a snowball effect that continues on.  It made me realize how good it felt to treat that one part of myself well... and it made me want to sort out other parts... even ones that I wasn't aware were bothering me...
Life is a constant renewal and reassessment... I guess I've been out of the loop in this for a while, but to me it seems like such an exciting adventure!


Glenda said...

When my mind gets too full of things I write it all down in a sort of 'mind-dump' list. It ends up looking more like a brainstorming chart than a list, really, because I just write the stuff down in whatever order it pops into my head. As I write I sort of loosely categorize things on different parts of the page, but often I end up just drawing connecting lines between the ones that are somehow related.

I find this helps to at least get a grip on all the random thoughts that are keeping you awake at night, and gives you more perspective on what needs to be dealt with right this minute and what can be/has to be left till later. Often I think I should really be making one of those gant chart things that links your activities in the order they must be done (ie: A can't be done till B is finished, and C has to start half-way through A), but I never actually get that far.

My other trick is to go read a really good book to escape my brain for a while. If you can be absorbed into the story enough, it can help you forget yourself for a bit, and take a break from your mental baggage. Just be careful of the transition back to reality - it can be a bit rough sometimes! ;)

Shannon said...

I totally understand what you’re saying about all the thoughts, both good and bad, swirling around non stop. I personally found that it really comes down to one or two that maybe you’re trying to avoid or don’t know how to deal with and the others are just ambient noise trying to get in on the action. I never found that writing anything down was particularly effective, in your real heart of hearts you more than likely know what the major problem is. And maybe the resolution to that issue has its fingers in a bunch of different pies so solving it might not be that easy.

You’re right about grain free, it really changes everything. One of the great benefits is that it really quiets everything down in your body so that you can feel and hear the true signals. I suggest perhaps start really listening to your mental chatter. Chances are there’s a theme in there trying to get through.