Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Good thing!

Good thing I don't put much stock in New Years.  I mean, yes, it's the start of a new calendar year and yes, I like the fresh start, but this year, it's been difficult because we sort of ran into New Years on our way home from vacation... 
In the past, I have made April resolutions (and stuck to them) and August resolutions (and stuck to them) and other daily resolutions (and stuck to them).  So I'm not too concerned about having done nothing towards the planning for this year yet... it's only the 3rd.

The things I AM going to plan for in the next month will be my yearly goals list (which involves everything from 8 glasses of water per day to owning a multi million dollar home... a girl has to dream big you know!)
I am going to make some plans for my knitting career and try and knit from my existing stash as much as possible.  I have such a bunch of gorgeous yarns that need to be made into gorgeous pieces.  Right now I'm obsessed with thumbless mittens... I'm okay with that!

 I am going to make some plans for my dietary and exercise needs.  I have some very talented and athletic friends that are going to help me and I'm determined to feel better.  My sister says that the extra weight I've put on in the last couple years is my pain on the outside... and I think that's true.  But I don't want to be in pain anymore.  As of this trip and the revelations I made, I know it's not going to go away soon (the pain that is).  But every step towards being pain free and content again is a step away from the past.  Even now, eight months after my relationship ended, bothersome and painful things are making their way from the depths of my soul. As Sam said, in order to cope, I pushed and packed these things down into a place where I didn't have to deal with them... it's a certified coping mechanism.  What I didn't know at the time and know now, is that those things never stay there forever.  They eventually come back up from the darkness and insist on being faced.  Makes me wish for myself and my loved ones that things of great importance, whether difficult or not, are dealt with head on.  Because now I'm in a place where I don't know what else is down there and what will trigger it to come blasting up from my soul.  I know now, after my trip, that I don't have to deal with them alone. There's at least one person, (and I know, many more), that will hold my hand and my heart while I move ever onward away from pain and towards health.  Both mentally and physically!

I am going to figure out what I want from my career and what I want in the next few years.  I made some pretty huge commitments already and one of those is a driving force in getting things straightened out, lined up and gathered together.

I will try and post some pictures of my trip tomorrow.  We had the most amazing time. Most. Amazing.  MOST!


www.fittyvsfatty.wordpress.com said...

You can do anything you set your mind to.....you just need to remind yourself that journey won't always be comfortable but the end result, getting YOU back is all worth it!

Kat said...

I'm here for you! Much love. :)