Monday, August 22, 2011

What's up woman!

I'm about a day late and a dollar short on this one but it's going to get me all riled up and I was in super chill mojo land on the weekend and didn't want to get all aggravated...
I'm so sick and tired of all the competition between women lately!  I don't understand all the judgement that is being bandied about lately!
There was an article on the Huffington Post  (I found it via a twitter link from Yarnharlot... I most certainly don't spend my time looking for this stuff) that basically said that women that engage in 'typical' female behavior (such as knitting, gardening and cupcakes?!?) aren't 'tough enough' to call themselves feminists.  That article in no time was ripped to shreds mostly by the knitting community.  My only thought (because I typically don't spend a lot of time thinking about this... more on that later) was 'isn't the general movement behind 'feminism' an idea that we're able to choose to do whatever the hell we want?'  And what does 'tough' have to do with anything?  Many of the commenters on that post (all 344 of them) spent a good amount of time defending their 'toughness'. Many of them 'shoot guns' or 'fix their own cars'.  What I want to know is why you have to justify your 'toughness' to someone that thinks that cartoon characters are better feminists than you. 
The reason I spend so little time thinking about this is maybe because I'm priviledged and sheltered, but maybe it's because I just want to be seen as a woman.  I'm a female.  I'm not a feminist.  I'm not 'tough'.  I'm not 'girly'.  I'm me.  I'm a woman in 2011 and I feel no such need to justify myself to anyone.  Every day we are all given tests and trials that require a different part of us to be the star in order to get through it.  Sometimes we need the soft and gentle side, sometimes we need the 'don't mess with me side'.  And sometimes an equal combination of both is best.  That doesn't make you any more or less female.
The other thing that is bothering me is this competition of 'real women'.  What the fuck is a 'real woman'?  What is a 'fake' woman?  And what is the scale on which one is judged in order to make it into the 'real' woman category.  From what I understand, it's a 'saying' that was dreamt up by fat women to make themselves feel better.  Essentially saying that 'skinny bitches' aren't real women.  Uh what?  What's the poundage that one must be overweight by before they qualilfy as a 'real' woman?  And for those that are genetically predispositioned to be thin, or those with eating disorders, or those that have a chronic illness that has caused weightloss, what does that mean to them?  They're no longer considered 'real'? 
My opinion on this 'competition' between the BEST feminists and the REALEST women is the following:
We have been fighting the entire world since the existance of time to be equal.  To have our wages be equal and fair.  To not feel that we are in danger whenever we're alone at night.  To be taken seriously in WHATEVER role we decide we want for our life.  And now, NOW at the time when it's getting there... when women can be whatever they want... can go to school, can excel and can choose for their own lives, we're fighting amongst ourselves over who's BETTER?  Are you kidding me?
I agree that there will always be competition in the world... in the workplace.  You're the BETTER doctor, she's the BETTER chemist... he's the better pilot... that's quantifiable competition. 
The best feminist, the realest woman, the best mommy... all nonsense and all that does is tear apart the global team of women when really, were we to actually stick together and work together, we could see amazing change... but instead, we just seem to attack eachother.
Maybe we should all try being 'women' for a while and see what happens.


Caroline said...

Amen sister! You said it best and are keeping it real. We are all real women as long as we are happy, productive, and responsible.

Shannon said...

That linked post you put up was damn ridiculous! I couldn't find in there where the reference to 'real' women vs skinny women was though. What's that the result of?

What the author of that post failed to mention/realize also is that women are different than men. We are genetically different and that means that many of us find our comfort and release in those things that have traditionally been our responsibility....only now, thanks to the bra burners, we get the CHOICE to do those things rather than be required to do them. Sometimes something that you no longer HAVE TO DO becomes appealing again when it's something you GET TO DO.

P'cess said...

Sorry, no, the real woman thing wasn't in there but it's a prevailing 'argument' going on right now... I just mushed the two topics together.
Yes, I don't HAVE to cook.. I can get take out or not eat, but I LIKE cooking... I LIKE knitting... I don't have to make a sweater, I can buy one at the store, but I GET to make a sweater because I WANT to...

Shannon said...

Do you have any links to this other argument? I'm curious to read.

P'cess said...

Not that I can find at the moment... It's more like what I said in my post... heavy women made up the saying 'real women have curves' and others like that and it really puts down and shames women that don't have curves. So between you and I, in reference to that argument, which one of us is more 'real'? And wouldn't you say we were both real, physical, honest to God, in the flesh women?