Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dingy Women

I found a blog entry over at Edenland... (you should go and read the recent ones!  it's important).  Someone told her to 'get over her childhood'.  Nice hey?  But it got me to thinking... she's a tough woman.  She falls down and she gets back up again. 
 
I know I've mentioned on this blog here numerous times in the last year that I know some incredibly strong women that fall down and get back up again.  These are what I now like to call Dingy Women. (Like a dingy you paddle around... not like the color of old dirty paint.).
 
They get in their dingy and they start paddling... out of their comfort zone... out to sea to find a better life... sometimes it's stormy and they have to paddle harder... to find safe harbour.  But every time they leave their safe harbour, knowing that they'll eventually have to paddle out a storm, they get stronger... and they can paddle further or faster to their safe harbour.  They find things on their journey... they find peace and calm in the quiet seas... they find untold strength as they ride out the storm... and their safe harbours have treasures that the women who stay moored to the shore will never find.  Dingy women will push themselves into uncomfortable situations as they battle for health, fitness and finding the best life they can for themselves and their loved ones.  Moored women will appear to 'have it all' and 'never have to struggle', but really, you can only grow so much when you're not willing to pull up and break up your root ball a bit (holy mixed analogies batman!).
 
I want to be a Dingy Woman.  I want to island hop from safe harbour to safe harbour, riding out the storms in between.  I want to learn where my limits are as opposed to where I've set them for myself.  I want to look back on the storm and see that I not only survived but am thriving in my new safe harbour... until it's time to set sail once again.
 
And I feel for the moored woman.  She has already defeated herself by choosing to never venture out... never allow herself to have to work so hard she's empty... only to be filled up again.
 
I will raise my wine glass tonight (a few times) to the Dingy Women in my life... for you are beauty and strength!
 
Kathleen - no blog... me sad :(

5 comments:

Shanny said...

Well thanks for the compliment. Here's the thing though. You already are a Dingy Woman. Instead of believing you're a Dingy Woman though and taking your bumps and bruises and patching up the dingy when it gets a tear or a hole and then paddling on, maybe you're just believing that it's destined to deflate anyway and you are powerless to stop it. If that's the case, stop believing you're weak and start understanding that you're strong. Stop letting bad events define you.

You keep celebrating Tara and I (she's the one I know the most so I'm using her as the example) because you keep saying we're strong and we fight through stuff and keep going. That is because we refuse to let the things that happen to us in life derail us in life. Start being who you are in spite of the things that have happened, not because of them. Decide what you want and then make that the most important thing in your life. Experiencing the pain and the struggle and doing it anyway is what makes a Dingy Woman. The unwillingness to allow anyone or anything else to define your choices.

Stop settling for less than you can give yourself. Admit that shit is hard and then get after it.

"The only thing standing between you and your goals is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself about why you can't achieve it."

Love you! ;)

P'cess said...

I think that I may have missed a word... I should have said want to 'continue' to be a dingy woman. I know that I am... i never would have gotten through the last year without paddling for all I'm worth. I accept that when you're a dingy woman, you can only battle so many converging storms at once... I never expected to be able to battle it all, but I never once gave up.

Now I'm worried... what bad events are defining me now? I'm rid of Pat, I single handedly dealt with being thrown out of my apartment, I have a good job... Is there something you think I'm making excuses about? I genuinely want to know...

Shanny said...

Ya, no, it was the lack of the word "continue". I thought you were feeling sorry for yourself and wishing you could be a Dingy Woman.

Tarable said...

Cheers to you, my fellow Dingy Woman, P'cess! And to all the Dingy Women.

Glenda said...

Thanks for the vote of support, Darcy! These days I think I'm doing a lot more drifting than actual paddling. I think the main thing is to just know where you want to get to, be it a place, an accomplishment, or just a state of being (some idea of when you want to be there usually helps, too!). Once you've got that much sorted, the "how" of getting there becomes part of the adventure of daily life!

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